Are you, or do you have, a 3rd culture kid? While the term generally applies to Military and Foreign service families, I’ve noticed this can also apply to children who travel frequently, especially if their peers don’t, to families with Internationally adopted kids or for kids whose parents are of two religions.
Here’s an “official” definition, by socialologist David Pollock:
A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.
You just might be 3rd Culture if:
- You have more than one answer to the question “where are you from?” (guilty!)
- You’ve ever had a date at an airport restaurant (also guilty)
- Your kids have a favorite airport lounge (MCO Delta, for the climbing area)
- You have had to pull out the map at Thanksgiving to show a distant relative where you’ve been recently.
- You refer to your home as a “post” or a “station”
- You have a strong preference between Thai, Balinese, Panamanian, and Mexican Pineapple (Thai 100%, esp. with that pepper/sugar mix!)
- When vacation planning, your kids have rolled their eyes and said “Mom, Phuket (Cancun, Marbella) is so BORING!” (I have heard this from a friend’s kids)
- At least one guest showed up in native costume to your wedding as a sign of respect. (bonus points if a relative said something off-color, as happened at my wedding!)
- Your (or your kids’) comfort food is gyoza, empanadas, or taboulleh (Bean burritos. What can I say? I grew up in Nogales!)
If this applies to you, I suggest Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds as the best resource I’ve found that accurately describes the unique world kids who grow up “3rd Culture” live in and the challenges adults who grew up 3rd culture face. The book helped me put a name to the fog of my identity and may help you as well.
